For the Night
by ADAcrushes
Summary: When Olivia pushes Alex away, Alex confides in a new friend. Season 13.
1. Chapter 1

This was originally a one-shot during season 13, but I abandoned it when I didn't finish it in the week between episodes as I had wanted to. I finished it today instead of working on my other story (which I promise I'll get back to!). I would realllyyy appreciate reviews, and your input of whether this should stay as a one-shot or has potential to be continued.

Alex Cabot walked onto the subway the morning after the completion of a trial with heartbreaking connections to the world she witnessed working overseas. She sighed. One year for rape. At least he was going to jail, and his life would be fucked for a while, before his friends in high places made it like it never happened. One of the many things she learned during her experience in central Africa was that getting something was better than nothing when it came to dealing with violent predators who think they can do as they please.

She opened her email on her phone. They had a new rape case, but not much to go on yet. She had her monthly meeting with Jack McCoy in a couple days; at that she let out an audible sigh, then, moving on, closed her eyes and cursed under her breath.

Veteran Detective Elliot Stabler was officially retiring. Elliot had always been an invaluable member of the team, and a loyal friend. She didn't see how they were going to replace him—whoever it was wouldn't be good enough, not nearly.

And she knew Olivia would take it hard.

She wanted to head straight to the precinct, but the ADA had to spend most of the day at her office, working through lunch on frustrating routine post-trial paperwork and procedures dealing with what's his face hot shot Italian rapist, which was exponentially more complicated due to his non-citizenship and wealth and status abroad.

When she finally walked into the squadroom late that afternoon, she saw Olivia standing at her desk. "Ugh, Liv, today has been awful," she greeted her friend as she would normally. "I've been working non-stop since I got in this morning with this damn Mr. Italy situation."

"Yeah, I bet that's a real pain," she replied distantly, not looking up.

Alex lowered her voice and spoke genuinely. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright, Alex," came her terse response, sounding annoyed. As Olivia scanned papers and photos on her desk, Alex tried to get through.

"Hey, Elliot's leaving is really shitty, unimaginably so for you, I know that. I hope you know you can talk to me...I'm here, Oli-"

"STOP." The detective interrupted loudly, slamming her files into a folder and snatching it up. She raised her arms rigidly and shook them at Alex. "Just stop. Just drop it, Cabot." She turned away and walked out of the room, leaving Alex standing next to an empty chair, bewildered.

_What the hell just happened?_

She was still staring somewhat confusedly at the space where Olivia had been, the shock turning to hurt in her mind, until she was brought back out of it by a bright voice moving her way.

"I can update you on the new case, if you like, Ms. Cabot. We haven't formally met—" A hand was offered in introduction; it belonged, Alex noted, to an attractive blonde perhaps 10 years her junior. "I'm the new detective here. Amanda Rollins."

Alex accepted the warm gesture with a weak smile. "Alex."

Xx

After a long day of intense work, the norm for the SVU team, Olivia, John, Fin, Alex and Amanda were out for drinks. Olivia still hadn't even looked at Alex, let alone talked to her. They spent most of the evening remembering moments and series of events from over the years that still held their significance for the group of friends: Trials they won and lost; lives they saved and times they were too late; faces they would never be able to get out of their heads; heated arguments between colleagues(usually Alex and Olivia) that escalated into screaming matches and, amidst much shared joy and strife, turned unlikely teammates into strong friends.

Finally, Fin was the one to ask, "Have you talked to Elliot, Liv?"

"Um." She took a gulp of her beer before sucking in an unsteady breath, as if she was going to cry. "Yeah. I mean, not too much, but…he said after the shooting IAB was going to make him jump through all kinds of hoops and kiss a large amount of ass if he wanted to stay in this unit, or even the force. He said because of all their bullshit it was easier to make a hard decision that he was already considering. Killing a girl who could have been his daughter was another huge burden on top of the pile of guilt and everything else he's been battling for years."

Munch commented, "He was being pushed ever more vigorously and tightly against his breaking point, and was given a way out."

"Yeah…And I'm afraid of what will happen when he's hit with the guilt of taking it." Olivia downed the rest of her bottle and stood up to leave.

Fin turned in his seat and looked at her, lightly touching her arm. "You know we're here to talk and whatever, we all been through a lot of hell together."

In his philosophical manner, John suggested, "It's just a transition, Liv. Let us help you through it."

Olivia pursed her lips and gave a small nod; it was obvious to Alex it wasn't in agreement, but goodbye. "Thanks guys."

The guys left soon after, but Alex had decided that she was going to be there a while. Better to drink and wallow at the bar than drink and wallow alone at home, she reasoned. Amanda moved to the vacated chair next to Alex, and ordered another drink. Though she wasn't able to contribute much to conversation that evening, Amanda came across to Alex as quite charismatic and driven—not unlike herself at her age, which seemed so long ago, yet Alex remembered the time clearly. She was excited to start trying her own cases, and working consistently with the same unit of police, which included a headstrong, shorthaired detective that so unknowingly won her heart.

"Olivia seems to be going through a really hard time."

Alex nodded, taking a big sip of her fresh rum and diet coke. "She and Elliot are really close. They were a great team."

"I saw her snap at you today…that wasn't fair."

"Yeah, well, it's understandable. She just lost her partner, she's gonna be on edge." Alex looked down, nursing her drink. "Maybe I was wrong to approach her so soon."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"How long have you been in love with her?"

Completely blindsided, Alex jerked her head up. Her heart was racing. "Excuse me?"

Amanda softened her voice slightly but held her stare, her eyes boring into Alex's. "I know what I'm talking about, Alex."

Alex took a step back in her mind. What did she miss? A lot, she realized; having not really had contact at all with Rollins for the African maid case, and Olivia's distance keeping her sufficiently preoccupied throughout their interaction today, Alex hadn't noticed anything about her at all. Now, going back over the past few days she looked at the scenes in which Amanda was present, analyzing her look, her dress, her demeanor, her voice, her stature, her personal presence…she realized she reminded her a lot of her friend Serena Southerlyn.

"You're gay." It was more of a statement than a question. Amanda nodded.

Relaxing a little, she sighed and let herself sink back down slightly. "A long time," Alex let out, taking another sip of her drink. "When I first started working with the SVU about 10 years ago…I quickly had strong feelings for her that I didn't know what to do with. It turned out she did too, but neither of us was at all confident enough to act on them. It went very slow…we did. Everything finally fit into place one night, and we kissed, and it was wonderful. We were talking about having a real relationship, to be together…and then I was shot. The Feds decided it was easiest and safest to proclaim me dead and force me into the protection of anonymity that I didn't want, I _never _would want. I fought so hard just to be able to say goodbye, and they finally agreed to shut me up. But Elliot had to be there, along with 5 fucking federal agents, and I couldn't say anything I wanted to say, though I didn't really know what that was anyway." There was a pause, in which both women continued drinking. "Sometimes I wondered if it would have been better just to not see her at all."

Amanda responded, "And let the woman you loved believe you were dead? Right after you told each other you were in love and wanted to be together, for you to be gone forever?"

"That's why I demanded to see her that night. I couldn't do that to her. She was supposed to be protecting me…my being snatched away and stashed in Wisconsin with no contact was punishment enough."

Alex didn't know why she was so willingly discussing her most personal history and thoughts with someone she had just met. But it kept coming out.

"I just want to talk to her again. Hold her again. I thought that's what coming back would mean." She sighed slightly, stopped by a pain in her throat like she was going to cry. "But that's stupid, really. Just a few weeks after I came back from witness protection I left again. For fucking Africa."

"I read about how you stood up for women in war-torn areas. Did you not want to go?"

"Of course I did, I wouldn't have gone if I didn't want to, I had had enough of people telling me where I had to be. I was really passionate about it. But also I was scared. Scared that it wouldn't work with Olivia. I mean, I had never had a good relationship before, what if I messed up again?"

"So did you two not talk about your relationship in that short time you were back?"

"Not really. We slept together. I guess we were starting to rekindle our friendship after having not been able to talk for four years. And then there was the case that sparked my desire to go to Africa."

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"Yeah, about how much I wanted to go, how inspired I was, but wasn't sure if it was the right thing. She told me to follow my heart. So I left. But part of my heart was left behind in New York."

Amanda gave a friendly smile. "And now? What's your heart telling you now?"

"It wants Olivia. To finally have her. No more being taken away, or running away. But who knows if she wants me, too. Maybe she's found someone better."

"The way she acted today tells me she hasn't. Her guard is up, hardcore. If she had someone new, someone she loved like you, she would be more chill. My guess is she's always been in love with you. But she's scared to get her heart broken again."

The pain in Alex's throat finally gave way to tears. She rested her elbow on the bar, her forehead in her hand, as they welled up. She felt a hand on her back as she blinked a droplet down into her now empty glass.

"Let me take you home."

Alex sniffed. "But you've been drinking, too."

"There's this thing called taxis."

"Ah, yes, those." Alex said as Amanda took her hand and they started towards the door. "We had a _really _good make-out session in one once." She stumbled a little as she turned back towards the bar. "My bill…"

"It's on me, I took care of it. Are you alright?"

"Not that drunk. Just…tired."

On the cab ride to her apartment, Alex stared over at Amanda. "So what about you? Is there an equally beautiful woman in your life?"

Amanda giggled a little and flashed a smile. "Not at the moment, no."

As they neared her address, Alex asked, "Care to come up for a bite to eat? I have plenty of leftover Chinese to share."

"Sure, thanks."

They walked up together to Alex's new apartment. "Make yourself at home," she offered. She walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the white take-out boxes out of the fridge.

Alex turned around and the next thing she knew her lips were on Amanda's, and Amanda was returning the kiss. Alex's hand went up to her blonde hair as Amanda put her hand on her waist and pulled Alex into her.

And she went back to when the hair she grasped wasn't bright like hers, but darker, short, with bangs to push up…to reveal an eyebrow that pointed a bit more than the other…above brown eyes that looked at her with passion.

Alex's other hand roamed, feeling Amanda's body, also perfected in the police academy, and kept up as well. She moved her lips down to her neck, and pressed her tongue into warm skin, something she had only fantasized about the whole time she was overseas. She moved her hand up to her chest, and with her body started to guide the other woman backwards towards her bedroom. But she felt a hand push against the front of her hip, separating their torsos.

Alex reluctantly pulled her tongue away from Amanda's neck, not wanting to open her eyes. She heard Amanda trying to subdue her heavy breathing.

"Alex. I can't be your Olivia for the night."

Alex stared at the different beautiful, bold woman in front of her.

Amanda sighed and moved towards the door.

"I'm sorry. Try to get a good night's rest."

She gave half a smile as she walked out.

Alex stared at the closed door for a moment before turning back towards the kitchen. She looked at the food she wouldn't be sharing with anyone.

"Fuck."

And the tears came again.


	2. Chapter 2

A big thank you to all of my reviewers—your feedback really makes my day

The previous night was Friday, so Alex went to bed without setting an alarm. She unfortunately still didn't get much rest, however. After fading in and out of sleep for most of the morning, she finally got up and walked to the bathroom. _You look like shit, Cabot. _ She thought to her reflection. In the mirror she saw that her eye makeup from the day before was streaked down her face; her eyes, full of exhaustion and uncertainty, were red from crying and rubbing too hard, the discomfort having given her something to focus on over the unrelenting thoughts swarming her restless mind.

She had spent the night tossing and turning, thinking about the interactions of the previous day. She thought about her makeout-session and almost sexual encounter with the new detective. Yes, she was attractive. But was that even a factor? She was thinking about Olivia when she kissed her, touched her. Amanda was right—it wasn't fair to continue.

They had been flirting in the bar and in the cab, though. The one that the other woman suggested they take to Alex's apartment, together. She invited her up and she agreed. Had Amanda wanted her from the start? If that was true, she thought, she admired her self-control to push her away and walk out the door.

She thought about what Amanda had said about Olivia's interaction with her, that it seemed that she didn't have someone she was seeing. How could that be gathered from one short conversation—not even conversation—though? What if she was wrong? Drinking always makes you overly confident of your assumptions. Like Alex's assumption that Amanda was being more than friendly, that she wanted that kiss, wanted her. Although she was still pretty confident of that come the morning.

What she wasn't sure of were her own feelings about this new woman. Was she just drunk and needy? She told Amanda herself—her heart wanted Olivia. Her body did, too. But Olivia wasn't there, Amanda was. And she had been so kind to her.

She also tried to think that she was unsure about what she really wanted with Olivia. But she corrected herself. She did know—she wanted to live happily ever after, and pretend like all those years apart didn't matter; to pick up where they left off. But she wasn't sure if it could happen. She always somehow thought she would end up with Olivia. But life doesn't work the way you want it to. She knew that all too well, of course. Refraining from growling and pulling her hair out, she got dressed and walked to the kitchen.

Alex made herself some coffee and started reading the newspaper on her computer. She had a calm, uneventful weekend ahead of her. She had some work to do from home, and would spend her free time reading a book and exercising. Her building had a workout room, and she was grateful she had the time and energy to use it. She pounded away on the bike, rock and dance music blaring in her ears, clearing her head. A few minutes later, she winced as she raised a 10-lb dumbbell over her head, her third set. She was content with the physical pressure to take the place of the emotional pressure she had been dealing with.

Her two days off turned out to be pretty relaxing, as long as she kept her mind occupied. She exhausted herself Friday night trying to answer all the questions nagging her. She didn't want to think about her romantic situation(s?) right now. And she didn't feel like talking to anyone. She enjoyed spending time by herself; and she had done enough soul-sharing at the bar.

When she walked into the SVU squad room Monday morning, she was nervous, but she tried not to let it show. She was worried how meeting with the two female detectives would go. There were group conversations regarding their new cases, during which Alex tried to determine Olivia and Amanda's moods. Olivia seemed calmer than she had been the few days earlier; she appeared her normal self, focused on finding bad guys. Amanda was as bright-faced and determined as ever. Alex didn't have personal contact with either one of them until she went to the bathroom later. As she opened the door, she saw Olivia there, washing her hands.

"Hey Alex," she greeted in a normal tone. "Can you talk for a sec, or are you desperate to pee?" She asked lightheartedly. Alex couldn't help but smile. She had always loved her little cute comments like that. But something was off.

"It can wait," she replied.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you the other day. I've just been really tense with Elliot gone. It's great to have you back as a member of the team."

"A member of the team?" Alex repeated slowly. Her heart felt like it was turning to ice, ready to be shattered.

Olivia sighed, looking down briefly. "We did have something, Alex…eight years ago."

Alex was silent, trying to swallow away the pain in her throat. She didn't have to pee anymore. She just wanted to cry.

"It took me a _long _time to get over you."

"But you are over me, then."

With her hands in her pockets, Olivia tilted her head forward, causing her hair to fall slightly in front of her face. Alex wondered why she had to be so beautiful when she was breaking her heart. The brunette gave a small "I'm sorry" smile, but didn't actually say the words. Alex was actually relieved she didn't, they just would have made it worse.

In the privacy of the stall, Alex worked to pull herself together, and put on her stoic face she usually wore. If she was going to cry, it had to be later. She had to finish the work day competently, and that meant pretending nothing was wrong.

She walked through the squad room, directing her words loudly towards no one in particular. "Do you have enough evidence for me to get a warrant for your rape suspect, yet?"

"Which rape we talkin' about here counselor," Fin responded.

Alex sighed. There were so many other people that had pain much worse than hers. She needed to focus on them.

"Any of them?" She offered weakly.

She got a drink from the water cooler and made herself focus on the board full of photos of victims, suspects, evidence. She saw the blonde detective walk towards her and grab herself a cup.

"Hey Alex, how you doin'?"

"Pretty shitty, frankly." Alex responded automatically. There she was again, being so unfiltered with Amanda. She couldn't explain it. She just made her so at ease, she guessed.

"I'm sorry," Amanda said back. Her tone was so genuine.

Alex turned towards her, looking her in the eye. "Amanda, I'm sorry about the other night…" She didn't know if she should say something else.

"No worries," the other woman replied just as simply, and flashed a smile. She turned towards the board to study it alongside Alex.

As she thought about their cases and what she could go to trial with, Alex was very aware of Amanda's presence beside her, but it didn't bother her. Regardless of what had happened between them in her apartment, she liked Amanda. She hadn't felt so comfortable with someone so quickly in a long time. About eleven years, in fact, when she started working with a certain other female detective. Now she wondered if she would ever be able to feel that comfort with Olivia again.

At home, Alex was trying to relax with a beer and a book, tonight a historical novel on Hitler's Berlin. She knew the irony of reading about evil in her free time when she dealt with it every day at work. She read some happy books too, sometimes, and the occasional lesbian romance.

But she couldn't focus on reading right now. She was thinking about what Olivia said earlier that day. It wasn't much, but Alex was going over every word in her mind, trying to figure out what to do with it. They _did_ have something? So they couldn't anymore? Calling her a member of the team was such a deliberate statement. Straight to the point, she supposed. Olivia had to have known how cruel that would be. It took her a long time to get over her? How long? What does that even mean? Had she deliberately tried to forget about their romance? Probably, she reasoned, she had been gone for so long. But they got together when she was back…before she left again. Alex cursed herself and felt the tears threatening. It was all her fault.

What if Amanda was right? That Olivia was always in love with her, but she's locking up because she thinks she'll just get left again?

And what about Amanda? Alex naturally liked her, opened up to her. Was that just friendship, though? Fucking lesbians and their blurred lines, she thought. Amanda wanted her, didn't she? Did she want her back? Alex let out a "Hmp" that no one else could hear. She was the one who kissed Amanda. And wanted to lead her to bed. "Oh geez."

Alex put down the book she wasn't reading and got ready for bed.

The rest of Alex's workweek was a pretty standard one, mainly spent at her office in the DA's building. She went into the precinct a couple times, dropping off warrants and checking on the progress of investigations. But both times were brief, and with little interaction with the women on her mind, except for friendly hellos with Amanda, and Alex staring at Olivia, wondering what would make her change her mind.

On Friday evening a knock on her door brought Alex out of the case file she was intensely focused on. She realized it was after six o'clock. "Come in," she called.

The door opened. "Hey, Cabot." Detective Rollins stood in her doorway, now casually leaning against the frame. "It's a little late to be working on a Friday, don't you think?"

Alex felt herself grin. "So why did you think I'd be here?"

Amanda smirked back. "Oh, just a good guess. We're all workaholics, aren't we?"

"Fair enough." Alex sat back in her chair. "So what's up, detective?"

"Want to come out to dinner with me? There's this Thai place I've been wanting to try."

Again, Alex didn't review her response before saying "I'd love to." "But I, uh…" Alex looked down. "I'm not really dressed for a dinner date, detective."

Amanda raised her hands in kind of a shrug, gesturing to her black work jeans and blue button up. "Neither am I. Let's just go like this."

"Alright. Give me a minute?" Amanda looked around her office while she gathered her papers. She hadn't been here yet. Alex wondered if her response meant that this indeed was a date. She thought she should be more nervous for her first first-date in years.

She finished packing up her briefcase and walked to join the detective.

"You always bring your work home with you, counselor?"

"Of course."

Amanda shook her head. "Silly question, I suppose."

When they got to the street, Alex asked, "So where is this place?"

"A few blocks from here." She thought for a moment. "Eight, I think. Do you mind if we walk? It's a nice night."

"Sounds good."

As they got to the end of the block and were waiting for the light, Amanda looked at Alex. "Can I hold your hand?"

Alex thought it was so sweet how she asked. She smiled, and paused a moment this time before consciously answering. "Yes."

Amanda smiled back as she slipped her fingers through hers.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, this chapter isn't as long as the others, but I hope you like it anyway. I'll try to write the next chapter, and one for my other story, before too long. Your feedback always makes my day and encourages me to continue : )

They walked hand in hand until they arrived at the restaurant, where Amanda stepped in front and opened the door for her date. Alex smiled shyly and walked in, the detective following behind her. As they were being seated Alex noted that it was a nice place, but not so fancy that she felt out of place in their work outfits.

"Nice place," she commented, spreading her napkin on her lap.

"Yeah, I thought so, and even nicer with a beautiful woman in front of me.

Alex huffed in amusement.

"Whaat?" Amanda grinned.

Alex looked her in the eye and opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment the waiter arrived. Amanda winked.

"What can I get you to drink, miss? He asked, nodding to Alex.

"What kind of beer do you have?"

"Budweiser, Heineken, Corona, and Singha."

"I'll take a Singha, thank you."

"For me, too, thanks."

The waiter nodded at Amanda and walked away.

Amanda looked at Alex with an eyebrow slightly raised. "I wouldn't have pegged you for a beer person, Cabot."

"Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, just yet, Detective Rollins." She returned the wink. "Corona is actually my favorite, but I figure since we're at a Thai restaurant—Thai beer."

They continued to chat and flirt for several minutes, stopping only to order—Alex a Shrimp Pad Thai, and Amanda yellow curry, both 5/10 on the spicy meter. They both had to chuckle as their food was brought out and they saw that Amanda's dish was _covered_ in red pepper flakes.

"Yellow curry is a mild dish, so I was curious when he asked me what number I wanted how they would make it spicy. I guess here's how."

As they began eating, Alex finally asked, "So where are you from, Amanda?"

"Atlanta."  
Alex smiled subconsciously at learning a new fact about this new woman she wanted to get to know. "Ah, that explains the drawl."

"Yeah, it comes out some times more than others. I'm not really trying to keep it, but I'm not trying to get rid of it either."

"I like it."

Amanda smiled. Alex thought to herself that she wanted to make this woman smile some more, it was so beautiful. She didn't think what came to her mind next would do that, but she felt she needed to talk about it.

"I talked to Olivia briefly on Monday."

"Oh? How did that go?" She asked like a friend.

Alex repeated the conversation to Amanda.

"That's really harsh." Amanda winced. "Do you think she's telling the truth? About being over you?"

"I don't know." Alex sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised. She hasn't been able to be with me/we haven't been able to be together for 8 years, some of that my own doing. She probably gave up on me."

Amanda nodded in understanding. "Well, I basically just met her, I'm sorry I can't give you more insight into whether you're right."

Alex felt like she should say more, but she didn't know what. She didn't really know how she felt about all of this: being on a date with the new detective after telling her about her Olivia issues. She didn't want to say the wrong thing to push Amanda away, to ruin her chances with her. Who knows what was going on with Olivia; Amanda was right here, right now, making her happy, and she didn't want to fuck that up.

After they had finished their meal and were walking out the door, Amanda asked, "How do you feel about some ice cream?"

Alex laughed a little. "You have room after all that food and beer?"

"Always room for ice cream."

"I'm sorry detective, I'll have to take a rain-check. I'm stuffed."

"Alright," Amanda replied brightly in her thick Georgia accent, which made Alex smile.

"How about we get a movie, instead? We can pick one up from Redbox, take it back to my place?"

"That sounds great."

They walked in Alex's door together, as they did the week before. "I'm gonna put on some comfier clothes, do you want to borrow anything?"

"Nah, I'm okay. I'll put in the movie."

Alex walked out of her bedroom a couple minutes later in sweatpants and a t-shirt, to find Amanda sitting on her couch with the remote, waiting for her. "You really look good in everything, don't you Cabot?"

Alex blushed. She turned off the light and plopped down on the couch next to her, putting her feet up on the coffee table. Amanda relaxed also and put her arm around Alex.

"Is this okay?"

Alex nodded happily. "Mmhmm." She pulled the blanket over them.

Alex thought this was wonderful, relaxing against a woman again. She couldn't help but remember movie times with Olivia, which were quite similar to this; the detective's strong body spread out with Alex snuggled up against her. She was so conflicted. She missed Olivia so much. [If she could go back in time, to before she was shot, and return to their life which(?) had finally become explicitly more than friendship, she would in a heartbeat. But since that wasn't possible, what did she want? She felt Amanda's heart pump calmly next to her. It was nice.

As the credits rolled, Amanda took Alex's chin in her hand and pulled her in to give her a soft kiss, unlike the fiery ones of the week before. Alex couldn't help letting out a soft "Mm."

Letting go, Amanda said, "I like you a lot, Alex. But I can't be with you knowing that I'm just a stand-in for the person you really want to be with."

She stood up to leave. Alex lifted herself up a bit and slid a foot underneath her. She turned to look at Amanda. "Amanda, I…" She didn't know what to say, it was a fair statement.

"Just think about it, okay? I had a great night."

"Me too."

Amanda smiled. "I'll see ya." She let herself out.

Like one week ago, Alex had a lot on her mind as she got into bed. But tonight her mood wasn't as frantic, more contemplative. Her night with Amanda had been amazing. She had so much fun just talking. She was so comfortable with her. Flirting with her was so natural. And she might be one of the sweetest people on the planet, asking if she could hold her hand, and put her arm around her, and telling her she looked good in sweats.

She was so happy cuddled up against her. And yet her mind went back to being with Olivia. She wondered, if Olivia called her this minute and told her she wanted to be with her, what would she do? But that wouldn't happen.

Could she like Amanda for Amanda, not wanting her to be Olivia? She does like Amanda for Amanda, she thought. It was just a matter of if she liked Olivia more. Was that fair? Hell, she hadn't really been with Olivia for 8 years. People change a lot in 8 years, right? Maybe Olivia wasn't even the person she fell in love with, anymore. The old Olivia wouldn't have called her "a member of the team."

As she fell asleep she found herself wishing that Amanda was there with her, that it was her hand she was holding instead of the pillow.

After a Saturday spent by herself, and a beautifully long sleep-in Sunday morning, Alex smiled at the cloudless sky outside her kitchen window. She went and grabbed her phone.

"Hey Amanda, it's Alex. It looks like a beautiful day for ice cream."


	4. Chapter 35

**Ok, so I know this is basically a tease, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to write more right now (ugh) and I wanted to post _something. _If you're looking for something to read, I suggest DustyMonkey's stories, they are wonderful :)**

"Shall I pick you up?"

Amanda agreed and gave Alex her home address.

"Alright, awesome, give me an hour and I'll be there."

Alex found herself smiling into the phone. "I can't wait to see you," she added.

She put on some coffee before heading back to her bedroom to figure out what to wear for their second date.

She pulled up the weather on her computer to confirm what she saw outside. It was a beautiful spring day. After looking through her wardrobe at the different possibilities, she decided on a favorite pair of jeans that she knew hugged her slight figure just right, and a three-quarter sleeve blue v-neck that she knew brought out her bright eyes. She smiled slightly as she turned to check herself out from all sides/angles(?) in the mirror. She wasn't cocky about her looks, but she could admit when she looked good. She hoped Amanda agreed/thought so, too.

Alex thanked the powers that be for her good hair day. She put on some light make up and checked her silver watch. Wanting to be on time to pick up her date, she poured her coffee into a travel mug and hurried down to her car.

Alex pulled up in front of Amanda's apartment building and got out her phone to let her know she had arrived.

"You here?" came a low twang into her ear.

"Yep!"

"Comin'"

Alex watched as the door to the building opened and her blonde companion strolled out, one hand in the pocket of her jeans and the other pulling on her red collared shirt, which she wore over a white tank top, straightening it.

She opened the car door and stepped in, looking over at Alex. "Well hey gorgeous."

Alex felt herself blush. She looked at the steering wheel and tucked her hair behind her ears before asking, "So, do you have an ice cream place in mind?"

Amanda stared at her in mock disbelief. "You're telling me that _you _invited _me _out for a date and you don't even know where we're going?"

Alex laughed lightly. "Well, you seemed to be quite the ice cream lover with your 'always room for ice cream' comment, detective, I figured you knew the best places."

"You're the one from New York here! You're lucky I know a good one, Cabot."

Alex whacked her arm playfully and drove off when Amanda finally told her where to go.

The two women walked up to the ice cream counter to order. Alex spoke first. "I'll have a cake cone, with one scoop of pistachio and one of hazelnut, please."

"Ooh, a pistachio girl," Amanda commented as Alex received her cone. "Cake cone with one vanilla, one chocolate, for me, thanks."

Amanda reached to get her wallet, but Alex put her hand on her arm to stop her. "_I _invited _you_ out, remember?" Alex paid for their treats and they walked outside to sit at one of the tables in the sun.

"You're so boring, Rollins," Alex complained while tilting her head slightly to take a bite, nodding to Amanda's vanilla and chocolate decision.

"Don't misjudge me, Cabot. I love my vanilla, but I enjoy mixing it up with the non-vanilla as well." She winked, and licked around her ice cream.

Alex felt her whole body tingle, as she knew that statement referred to more than just ice cream. She found herself staring at Amanda's tongue traversing her ice cream, smoothing it, and had to pull her eyes away.

She distracted herself by asking the detective about the status of their case load. They proceeded to talk for nearly an hour about work, which was easy to do for two women who were passionate about their jobs. Amanda was telling Alex to "Make sure that bastard gets locked up for the rest of his life, Al," when Alex suddenly remembered that she had work to do for that case that really needed to be done by the next day.

Alex reluctantly drove Amanda back to her apartment. "I'm so sorry Amanda, I wish I could hang out longer."

They were stopped in front of her building. She took Alex's hand. "Me too, Al, but go home and do what you do to nail that prick." Amanda turned in her seat and put her hand on Alex's thigh, sending shivers through her body that were intensified when Amanda leaned forward to give her a light kiss. "We'll meet up again soon?"

Alex smiled, enjoying the lingering sensation on her lips. "Definitely. Have a good night."

After a very long Monday, Alex was ready to collapse on the couch and forget about how she willingly read about and dealt with scum and their inhuman crimes on a daily basis. She changed into sweatpants and a big soft hoody, and had just laid down when her phone beeped from the kitchen. She groaned. After taking a second to curse, she reluctantly pushed herself up from the couch and walked to the kitchen to get her phone. When she saw its screen, her grumpy face immediately lit up. Text message from Amanda Rollins.

_Hey cutie. Wanna get lunch tom?_


End file.
